Trying

Well, I am trying. It is not easy. Kids are driving me a bit nuts. But I am realizing that every time they are, it's because of MY shortcomings. It's because I haven't set anything routine they should be doing, it's because I haven't established concrete rules and structure and boundaries like they need.

I went off on them a bit yesterday morning and this morning. Mornings are difficult because we need to be out the door in a timely manner. NOT dawdling around taking our damn time! Nash la dee das around and it's just on my last nerve. I'm realizing that is MY fault, not HIS. I need to have a structured morning set up: now we brush our teeth, now we get dressed, etc. With no spare time for trouble making and playing first thing in the morning.

I really tried yesterday to remain calm while we visited the Science Center. I REALLY tried. I also really tried to be in the moment and enjoying my children. It's really hitting me lately how they are and are going to continue to grow up SO FAST! I have such limited time with them being little and naive and innocent. I really want to enjoy it. Nash was a little whiny and Adria got a little grumpy after lunch, but overall they were SO well behaved! I was also very happy with MY behavior, I didn't get upset with either of them and just enjoyed the day. When we were getting into the car and leaving, I told them that they had been SO GOOD and thanked them for their behavior.

I feel like I am doing well with being a better mother. Not a perfect mother, by far, but at least a good one. And that is my first priority and the most important on my goal list. I have not made a lick of progress in losing weight (sticking to a healthy diet), being a better student, being a better housekeeper, or just being a responsible grown up. But it's baby steps. I am happy that I have done something, anything, and am feeling like a better mom than I did a few days ago. Even if I haven't changed anything just yet, I'm able to really step back and recognize that I have good kids, I am the one who needs to change my ways. Although last week I did do a really good job of cleaning my kitchen, dining room, and living room! However, I want to keep it up and clean on a daily basis and have no been doing that. Also, kids rooms are a ridiculous mess. Which again, is something I need to take care of, and teach them and guide them and check up on them. I can't expect them to do everything at their ages! A lot of my issues are that I'm just plain old lazy.

here is a really good article on why NOT to yell at your kids. The #2 proclamation that your KIDS are your audience has been the one to most ring true for me. I am really, really trying to take it in and get my kids to behave withOUT yelling.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/the-orange-rhino/10-things-i-learned-when-i-stopped-yelling_b_2886161.html